Dear Visitor # 20,000
I'm lying to you.
Truthfully, Visitor #20,000 probably rolled in around January, but this is a very rough guess because I have know way of knowing. I installed the web counter at the bottom of this post in mid-October, and that's when the numbers start.
I'm very, very sorry.
I like being the 20,000th anything.
Well, I don't like being the 20,000th person in line. Or the 20,000th person to date a particular girl.
But I do like it when balloons and flashing lights celebrate my arrival. It wasn't my planning, but I always like a party when its for something I had no idea I was doing.
I don't know if I like 20,000 Leagues under the Sea. I haven't read it.
But you're not the 20,000th visitor.
I'm so sorry. I regret lying to you.
But I'm so glad you came.
Please keep coming back.
I'll serve you waffles.
If you keep coming back, then I can hit 50,000. At which time, I will look back at this post and be fucking embarrassed at the amateurish concept.
I'm better than this.
But it's early, and you might come at any moment.
Christ, I'm lame right now.
Don't you hate astrologers?
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